She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
