hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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