we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize