this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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