??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Randomize