i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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