She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
