Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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