we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
