Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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