I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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