I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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