Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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