i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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