Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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