That's intense
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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