Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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