Michael Bay diarrhea
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Dear god my vagina.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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