plz talk dirty to me
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
