You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
