Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
its not stalking. its research.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
