yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
