We're facebook friends in real life
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
