ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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