I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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