We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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