i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
