He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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