Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
3 2 1 whiskey
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
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