ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize