my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
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