yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
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