The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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