You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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