Dual....:-)
A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
i dont even know how to be here
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
