I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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