I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
