I hate all girls vehemently.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
