the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize