i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
