That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Randomize
