And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize