he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
