i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
