just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
