just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
The adults are the big ones right?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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