Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
