i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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