Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I smell stomach acid.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
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