Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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