They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
