Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize