Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
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