Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
