i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
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