Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
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