what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize