Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
