i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize