my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
