I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize