meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
