he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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