she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
