so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
My pussy is not your playground.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
