i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
this just has baby written all over it
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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