i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
