It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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