I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
